From The Onion:
8-year-old Aiden Miller recounted an extremely vivid near-death experience Friday that reportedly contained detailed descriptions of heaven, angels, and a six-figure book deal. “I was walking up in the clouds and met friends, and strangers, and all these famous people who talked with me about all kinds of things and brought up the possibility of selling the rights to my story to a big-name publisher…”
Then he met the angel of Patrick Henry who said, “Give me a book deal or give me death.” And Jesus responded, “What’s the difference?”
GUEST POST BY MSFFILES
This may be one of the darkest pieces I have written. Of course, in my eyes, it is a “feel good” piece! This is the kind of piece that friends would say to me, why Michele if you had not written this piece, I would tell you it was right up your alley! It has YOU written all over it!
And if you are even a little bit like me, you are waiting for the ball to drop on this, the most corrupt, corroded and craven administration in American history.
And waiting…and waiting…and waiting…and…zzzzzzzzz…
Meanwhile, we’ve got United Airlines videos to watch, and multiple Harry Styles sightings to entertain us. And I know this sounds like the absolute zenith of zero-hope-left-leaning but I am eagerly anticipating the number of passengers on United Airline flights who will deliberately provoke some kind of “mix-up” or altercation so that they too can grab their “aisle be seeing you” battered and bloodied news moment and milk it for every penny. Continue reading “The Touch-and-Go Asylum”