Child’s Description Of Heaven During Near-Death Experience Specifically Mentions Book Deal

From The Onion:

8-year-old Aiden Miller recounted an extremely vivid near-death experience Friday that reportedly contained detailed descriptions of heaven, angels, and a six-figure book deal. “I was walking up in the clouds and met friends, and strangers, and all these famous people who talked with me about all kinds of things and brought up the possibility of selling the rights to my story to a big-name publisher…”

Then he met the angel of Patrick Henry who said, “Give me a book deal or give me death.” And Jesus responded, “What’s the difference?”